Trent: We're thinking of changing our name. Do you think if we spelled Mystik Spiral with two y's it would be better?
Daria: [thinking] And if I spelled my name D-a-r-y-a I'd be crowned Miss America.
Jane: Am I missing something?
Ms. Morris: The team needs you, and you need the team... IF you don't want to be here taking math again this summer.
Jane: Gee, that almost sounds like blackmail. Fortunately, I can pull up my math grade on my own.
Ms. Morris: Then I'll flunk you.
Jane: Why don't I go to Ms. Li and expose this grade-changing arrangement?
Ms. Morris: She already knows.
Jane: Okay, then, back off or I'll tell the P.T.A.
Ms. Morris: They know, too.
Ms. Morris: You're beaten, Lane.
Jane: How about if I call the three local TV stations and tell each one that the other two are running the story?
Ms. Morris: Damn.
Helen: I came in to ask you to rinse off your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. Your father found a cheese fry melted onto his "World's Greatest Dad" cup and he thought it was some kind of rodent. Now he's sworn off coffee.
Daria: Then I should be hearing from the Nobel committee any day now.
Daria: My hormones don't rage. Oh sure, they get mad sometimes, but then they just stop speaking to each other.
Jane: You'll figure out something. Use your womanly attributes.
Daria: Gotcha. I'll give birth.
Lawndale Mascot: My head's too big.
Daria: That's 'cause it's so full of dreams.
[Daria's class is visiting the local mall]
Mrs. Bennett: Now, we'll meet back here at quarter to three. Remember, area F, section moss, level 3. Got it? F moss 3.
Kevin: I know a good way to remember that.
Mrs. Bennett: You have a mnemonic device Kevin?
Kevin: It's not a S&M thing Mrs. B, it's just a way to remember that.
Mrs. Bennett: Well let's hear it.
Kevin: Fmossthree. Fmossthree. Get it? Fmossthree. Or was it Fmosstwo?
Mrs. Bennett: Everyone, write it down.